One ring. One story. One reminder for myself.
When Rellery reached out to me about a collaboration, I was beyond excited. I love jewelery that is simple and timeless. When it came time to design my ring, the biggest challenge was thinking of what I would engrave on it.
What could I fit on a tiny ring that would sum up my life?
I thought for hours. My son’s name was an idea or the word “mama”. Sure, motherhood defines a large part of my life (and I’m sure most of my readers too), but that’s not all that defines me.
I’m a mom, but I also have the title of friend, wife, sister, daughter, and so much more. Not only that, there’s so much that people don’t see just by looking at me. Like the fact that, I have a big heart, a love for Jesus, so much passion, and I also have Anxiety/ Depression.
You read that right. Me, the girl who puts her self out there everyday on social media has Anxiety and Depression.
The things you don’t see on my feed are…
- I WORRY. I worry that people don’t like me. I worry I’m not enough. I worry that I will fail.
- I say yes, because I don’t know how to say no. I am a people pleaser.
- I leave a conversation and run through it on repeat all day, hoping that I didn’t say something dumb or offensive.
- I get easily irritated/upset. Girl, I cry A LOT.
- I often feel alone, even when I’m surrounded by people who love me.
- I stay home, because a trip to the store or going to work will cause so much anxiety that I will feel completely depleted.
- I have trouble breathing and have panick attacks.
- I stay up late, because I can’t shut my thoughts off and I can never complete my check-lists.
- I don’t pursue dreams in fear that I will fail.
- I love my child unconditionally, but I’m not always able to show him my love when I’m at my lowest.
- I hate change and crave consistenty.
This is something I’ve wanted to share for awhile, but haven’t had the courage to do so.
So, why am I sharing my story? Because, mental health needs to be talked about more! Maybe you have a similar story. You may have no one to talk to. You may feel hopeless and down. You may need to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
So, when I chose my engraving for Rellery, I chose this…Philippians (Phil) 4:8.
On my darkest days, I turn to the bible and this verse often echoes in my thoughts. Be anxious for NOTHING. You may not undestand, but GOD DOES. Think on the GOOD THINGS, not the bad. Jesus will GUARD YOUR MIND. Lastly…PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.
That list above…that doesn’t define me. Those are all parts of my life that I have to learn to understand and live with. I know that I am enough, for Jesus gave his life for me.
Photo Cred: Brushed and Barley
A final thought…
Family and friends, if you just read this I hope you take away two important things:
1) Anxiety and Postpartum Depression are REAL (it’s not a fad, and it’s not something that magically gets better).
2) Be patient. Your loved ones that are dealing with these disorders need your love and support.
Bible Verses for Anxiety/Depression:
Psalm 30:5 ESV For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Psalm 3:3 ESV But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.
Philippians 4:13 ESV I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Matthew 11:28 ESV Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Jeremiah 29:11 ESV For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Revelation 21:4 ESV He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
Things That Have Helped Me
-Turning to the bible
-Taking time for myself (bubble baths, shopping trips, reading, etc.)
-Words of affirmation
-Finding friends who understand and support you!